7 Craziest Laws in the United States

7 Craziest Laws in the United States

We have all heard outlandish stories about crazy laws, many of which are so crazy there seems to be no way they could actually be true. Most of these stories come from obscure sources or third-world nations, and there is no way that most Americans could (or would bother to) verify the information. While there are certainly some backwards and strange laws currently in place in the world, the most surprising fact of all may be the true source of many of these stories.

In fact, most of these improbable, unbelievable and flat-out crazy laws are not just in strange lands you may hope to visit someday; many of the nuttiest laws currently on the books anywhere may be in your own backyard, right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. So buckle up and find out how many laws you might already have unknowingly broken as you learn about the craziest laws in America.

1. If you break the law, don’t be safe about it.
Assault and murder are obviously illegal in the United States, but if you wearing a body vest while enacting your crime, it is a separate, more serious charge. According to New Jersey state law, it is a crime if a person “uses or wears a body vest while engaged in the commission of, or an attempt to commit, or flight after committing or attempting to commit murder, manslaughter, robbery, sexual assault, burglary, kidnapping, criminal escape or assault.”

2. Easy on the bacon.
This law is so strange, you should just read it for yourself. According to Amendment 10 of the Florida State Constitution: “No person shall confine a pig during pregnancy in a cage, crate, or other enclosure, or tether a pregnant pig, on a farm so that the pig is prevented from turning around freely.”

3. No touching!
Lawmakers in Tennessee are serious about protecting their children from anything that could lead to promiscuous behavior. So much so, that they passed the “Gateway to Sexual Activity Act,” which declares that students may not kiss or even hold hands in school, as it is a gateway to elicit sexual activity.
If violated, students may be subject to punishment, and the parents of said students could be subject to a hefty fine. What is even more bizarre, if a teacher witnesses students engaging in this behavior, that teacher could be subject to a lawsuit by the parents, if it is not promptly reported.

4. Do not cause a catastrophe.
Although any action that causes a catastrophe is generally outlawed by numerous federal laws, catastrophes are especially frowned upon in New Mexico, and lawmakers felt a need to make that official. According to the state’s definition, a catastrophe could include an explosion, flood, release of poison gas or spread of radioactive material of anything.
The crime is of a more serious degree if the catastrophe was created recklessly, which makes one wonder whether it is better to be careful about creating a disaster. But if you plan on being careless about it, you will definitely need a good defense attorney.

5. Only seduce married women.
In the great state of Michigan, any man who “shall seduce and debauch any unmarried woman” is guilty of a felony and can be punished with up to five years in prison. However, there is no such law on the books for women seducing men, which could in fact be the much greater danger.

6. We shouldn’t have to tell you this.
Although it would seem like basic common sense not to engage in certain activities, bear wrestling actually used to be a thing in Alabama up until very recently. It was only in 2006 when the state finally decided to crack down on this activity by enacting Code Section 13A-12-5 which states that anyone who “promotes, engages in, or is employed at a bear match,” is in violation of state law.

7. Really?
To end on a serious note, there is really nothing funny about the final entry in our crazy law list, but homosexuality is actually a class C misdemeanor in the Lone Star State. According to section 21.06 of Texas state law: “A person commits an offense if he engages in deviant sexual intercourse with another individual of the same sex.”